Overcoming Unforgiveness
Overcoming Unforgiveness
Introduction:
1. Forgiveness is not just ignoring those who wrong us.
2. Forgiveness is more just refusing to attack someone because we may still harbor ill will and harsh bitterness.
3. Forgiveness is not just ignoring the sin. God does not overlook sin and neither should we.
4. Forgiveness is not putting the offender on probation, while we discuss his inexcusable behavior and then promising to forget it unless it happens again.
5. Forgiveness should be modeled after God's forgiveness of man's sins.
6. God removes the notation from His record; Acts 3:19 - Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;
7. God forgets, putting it completely out of His memory; Hebrews 10:17 - And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
8. God treats us like He did before we had sinned, and receives us back wholeheartedly.
9. Overcoming unforgiveness requires great faith and understanding of what God has done for us.
I) Necessity of Forgiving One Another
A) "Have I really forgiven my offender?" Test
1. Do I secretly rejoice when I hear of some misfortune assailing my offender?
2. Do I purposefully avoid his presence?
3. Do I speak to him hesitantly and only under duress?
4. Do I vividly remember the wrong committed?
5. Do I ever sit in silence and meditate and brood over the wrong done to me?
6. If a particular circumstance arose related to the offender demanding prayer, would I happily and anxiously go to God in his behalf?
7. Have I sought an opportunity to do him a favor?
B) Forgiving One Another
1. It is a command
a. Mark 11:25 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
b. There are no nonessential commandments.
c. John 14:15 - If you love me, keep my commandments.
d. Forgiving one another is not more nonessential than baptism or the Lord's Supper.
2. Consider the example of Jesus Christ.
a. We follow his example in being baptized.
b. We follow his example in eating the Lord's Supper.
c. Will we not follow his example of forgiving one another?
d. Luke 23:34 - Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
e. Philippians 2:5 - Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
3. Consider the example of the early Church
a. Acts 7:60 - And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
b. An atheist once said, "If there be a God, why didn't he help Stephen who prayed for his enemies as they stoned him to death?"
c. "He did by giving him grace to pray for his murderers" was the reply.
4. Love calls for forgiveness
a. 1 Corinthians 13:4 - Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
b. 1 Peter 4:8 - above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covereth a multitude of sins:
c. How does love cover a multitude of sins?
(i) The answer lies in the forgiveness given by those that have been sinned against.
(ii) Love removes them from you sight and keeps them from you mind.
5. We forgive because we have been forgiven.
a. Which one of you has not sinned?
b. Do you not want to be forgiven by God?
c. Forgiveness is a take it or leave it proposition.
(i) It is either forgive and be forgiven or refuse to forgive and have forgiveness refused.
(ii) The price that one pays for refusing to forgive is their heavenly reward.
(iii) James 2:13 - For judgment is without mercy to him that hath showed no mercy: mercy glorieth against judgment.
(iv) The person who does not forgive breaks the bridge over which he must pass.
(v) Let us not destroy the bridge with our hate, malice and ill will.
d. Consider the parable of the unmerciful servant. ( Matthew 18:23-35).
(i) He was a mean and wicked man ( Matthew 18:32).
(ii) Some may have not missed a service in 30 years but will be called "wicked" by the Lord at judgment because their hearts were filled with ill will, resentment, and they were unforgiving.
(iii) He was on his way to torment ( Matthew 18:34); and, this, though he had received forgiveness.
6. Forgiveness is required if you want a walk with God.
a. 1 John 1:7 - but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
(i) How beautiful to know that our walk with God cleanses us from all sin.
(ii) That walk is located in God by means of the blood of Jesus Christ.
b. Amos 3:3 - How can two walk together except they be agreed?
(i) These two verses imply that we must agree with God if we want to walk in His light.
(ii) Agreeing with God means that we understand the necessity of forgiving one another.
(iii) Only through our agreement with the authority of God in the realm of forgiveness can we walk in the light by means of the blood of Jesus.
(iv) Simply, God requires that you forgive because he forgives you.
II) Attitudes toward Forgiveness
A) "I cannot forgive"
1. God will not require the impossible.
2. For most this means that they are unwilling to forgiven.
3. Yet we see the greatest of men able to forgive the severest of offenses.
a. Joseph and his brothers.
b. Stephen and his murderers.
4. James 2:10 - For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is become guilty of all.
a. If God says to forgive then we must forgive.
b. Can we honestly forgive the meanest things people have done to us.
B) "I am going to forgive you but in the future I am not going to have anything to do with you."
1. We are to forgive in the same manner as Christ.
a. Colossians 3:13 - forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye:
b. Ephesians 4:32 - and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.
2. Christ forgives in this manner and so should we.
C) "It is a favor from me to you."
1. Actually the reverse is true.
a. God can forgive any sin without my help.
b. But God cannot forgive our sins unless we forgive the offender.
2. We cannot put qualifications on forgiveness.
a. Many times people put certain rigid conditions on forgiveness.
b. The Bible tells us to freely forgive.
c. 1 Corinthians 2:12 - Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.
D) "I am going to forgive you, but I'll never forget it."
1. This is like burying an axe with the handle sticking out.
2. We don't get to keep a filing system; God does not.
3. Hebrews 8:12 - For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
III) Cultivating Forgiveness
A) The hatred, ill will, and bitterness does more harm to the hater than it does the person he hates.
1. Consider the parable of the unmerciful servant.
2. He went out from the presence of the king.
a. This means he left the presence of God and forgetting the mercy he received.
b. Knowing the measure of forgiveness that has been given to you, strive to keep forgiving.
B) Ask for assistance.
1. Make sure you really want to forgive.
2. This is the difference between saying a prayer and actually praying a prayer of forgiveness.
C) Recite the person's name in the Lord's Prayer.
1. Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive (insert their name) his trespasses.
2. Practice makes perfect.
3. Jesus prayed for his offenders.
a. He did not pray for their punishment.
b. He prayed so they could have the hope of forgiveness.
c. Forgiveness has to do with feelings.
d. Only through meaningful prayer on the behalf of our trespasser can we come create a love and feeling that is hard to obtain otherwise.
D) Forgive continuously.
1. Peter thought 7 times was enough.
2. The rabbi said 3 was sufficient.
3. Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. ( Matthew 18:22).
4. Forgiveness is not quantitative.
5. Forgiveness is qualitative.
a. We are not to keep a ledger.
b. Forgiveness is not a matter of bookkeeping or arithmetic.
c. Love has not limits
d. As long as a man is willing to turn and say "I repent" we are to forgive him.
e. Luke 17:3-5 - Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
Conclusion:
1. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that Love is not easily offended.
2. Little minds are wounded by little things.
3. Avoid carrying a chip on your shoulder and put responsibility for forgiveness there instead.
4. Men's lives gravitate around some center.
5. If that center is one's self then forgiveness cannot occur.
6. Would you want to slip into eternity with hate, ill will, resentment, and unforgiveness in your heart?
7. God's plan is for you to forgive because he want to forgive you.
Posted in: Forgiveness, Sermon Outlines